🏈 Kirk "Primetime" Cousins Delivers on MNF, NFL Power Rankings, and the Panthers being the Panthers

Morning Blitzers,

Today we've got the NFL on our mind. We're not going to lie to you, this is an NFL-heavy newsletter, but hey, the season has just begun, last night we saw an awesome Monday Night Football game, and we have a lot to talk about. So buckle your chin strap, strap on your shoulder pads, and let's get into it!

WTF Stat: QB Kirk Cousins has a 3-10 record on Monday Night Football before last night’s victory (he is 12-20 overall in primetime games). He silenced a lot of haters last night with that clutch game winning drive. You can see the full thing here:

🏈 Kirk Cousins led a dramatic final-minute drive to secure a 22-21 victory for the Falcons over the Eagles. The drive was set up after RB Saquon Barkley dropped a pass that could have likely ended the game. Jalen Hurts' final pass was intercepted by Jessie Bates III, sealing the win for Atlanta.

• Falcons Takeaways: I’m still not sure how the Falcons won that game. The Eagles had a 97.6% probability of winning at one point, and even after a few miscues the game was still the Eagles to lose. After the Falcons scored their game tying touch down, I thought they were screwed. They had quite possibly the softest unsportsmanlike penalty ever called on them backing up their extra-point try. Fortunatly Kirk Cousins and K Younghoe Koo had ice in their veins last night, as Koo nailed it and gave them the 1-point lead.

• Eagles Takeaways: This one is going to hurt. You can tell they missed WR AJ Brown a lot last night (who is slated to be out a couple of weeks). A lot of very talented teams suffered tough losses in week two, the Eagles will be fine. They’re too talented on both sides of the ball and they’ll win this type of game 97.6 times out of 100…

🏈 The Carolina Panthers have benched QB Bryce Young and will start QB Andy Dalton against the Las Vegas Raiders. This decision comes less than a day after coach Dave Canales had publicly supported Young as the starter. Young, the No. 1 overall pick in the 2023 draft, struggled in a recent 26-3 loss to the Los Angeles Chargers, posting a career-low 6.4 QBR. Young has a 2-16 record as a starter.

• 🔥 Take: This is how you know that the Panthers are a terrible franchise. No, not because they changed their mind a day after announcing Young would be the starter, not because they traded a million draft picks away and threw in stud WR DJ Moore as an after thought, and not because every other QB that leaves their franchise plays better. But because instead of doing what most other franchises would do and pretend their struggling player is injured while they get right mentally, they announce the change mid-day on a Monday so it becomes a major story for the full week. Way to crush your Young QBs (no pun intended) confidence even more Panthers, good job.

Tuesday’s NFL Power Rankings

This week’s theme: Desserts

Tier 1 - Ice Cream

Ever had bad Ice Cream? Me either. Ice Cream is the top tier dessert. It’s just a few ingredients, but delicious (and healthy right… right?). Yet, the possibilities are endless. There are tons of different flavors, toppings, styles, it’s so versatile and talented. Just like the teams below. They’re good on three phases of the game and even on the occasional down week (looking at you Philly & San Fran) you still trust them to get the job done the next time.

1. Kansas City Chiefs (2-0)

2. San Francisco 49ers (1-1)

3. Philadelphia Eagles (1-1)

4. Buffalo Bills (2-0)

5. Houston Texans (2-0)

Tier 2 - Homemade Cookies

We’re headed into fall and that means, it’s time for pumpkin lattes warm homemade cookies. Get those ovens heated, nothing better on a cool fall night. Speaking of, these teams may have forgotten to pre-heat the oven, as they are not cooking. I expect that to change shortly, as they’re too talented to stay down for long. Expect them to be perfectly golden brown come November.

6. Detroit Lions (1-1)

7. Baltimore Ravens (0-2)

8. Dallas Cowboys (1-1)

Tier 3 -Tiramisu

This is where we start getting controversial. Tiramisu in my mind is an elite dessert. It’s sophisticated yet simple, light but filling, can be ordered at the most expensive Italian restaurant or pulled out of the back fridge from your local pizza shop. What I’m trying to say is Tiramisu knows how to win games. And so do all of these teams in Tier 3. They all started in the bottom half of the rankings to start the year, but have shown the ability to pull out wins and surprise a lot of teams.

9. New Orleans Saints (2-0)

10. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-0)

11. Los Angeles Chargers (2-0)

12. Minnesota Vikings (2-0)

13. Seattle Seahawks (2-0)

14. Pittsburgh Steelers (2-0)

Tier 4 - Cheesecake

Cheesecake is a huge wildcard. It can be great, or it can be bland, stale, and upset your stomach for a week (or is this just me?) You never know what you’re going to get. Just like the teams on this list when they’re good, they can be really good. But they’ve also shown that they can leave you with an upset stomach on a down week.

15. Atlanta Falcons (1-1)

16. Arizona Cardinals (1-1)

17. New York Jets (1-1)

18. Green Bay Packers (1-1)

19. Cincinnati Bengals (0-2)

20. Cleveland Browns (1-1)

21. Miami Dolphins (1-1)

Tier 5 - Cannoli

I know people love Cannoli, but I just don’t get it. Everything about Cannoli looks great, the presentation is incredible, the pastry shell, the chocolate chips, the cream filling. Just looking at pictures of them make me want to go out and buy some. But then you bite into it and remember it contains ricotta cheese as the filling. Every time I’m disappointed. That’s these teams. On the outside they all have nice pieces, each of them has something you like. Whether it be offensive weapons, great defenses, or young up-and-coming QB. But when you bite into their core, it’s just ricotta cheese. Don’t trust them.

21. Las Vegas Raiders (1-1)

22. Jacksonville Jaguars (0-2)

23. Los Angeles Rams (0-2)

24. Chicago Bears (1-1)

25. New England Patriots (1-1)

26. Indianapolis Colts (0-2)

27. Washington Commanders

Tier 6 - Macaroon

I’m convinced Macaroons just have fun looking colors to cover up for the fact that they all taste the same, that is to say bad. Even though there are different “flavor” macaroons I’ve always come away disappointed. Just like these four teams, they’re all wearing different color jerseys, but really they’re all the same flavor of bad, the different colors won’t trick us.

29. Tennessee Titans (0-2)

30. Denver Broncos (0-2)

31. New York Giants (0-2)

32. Carolina Panthers (0-2)

• Guardians 4, Twins 3: Kyle Manzardo’s 2-run homer in the 8th put the guardians ahead and then Mr. Automatic, Emmanuel Clase came in and secured his 46th save.

• Mets 2, Nationals 1: Starling Marte’s 10th inning single walked things off and placed the Mets now 1 game ahead of the Braves (who lost 9-0 to the Dodgers) for the final Wild Card spot.

• Padres 3, Astros 1: Yu Darvish fired 6 strong innings and Jackson Merrill hit his 24th home run. Sadly, Luis Arraez strikeout-less streak came to an end after 141 plate appearances.

See the full MLB scoreboard here and the current standings here.

On this day in1964 (60 years ago), The Beatles are paid a then record $150,000 by baseball team owner Charles Finley for a concert at Municipal Stadium in Kansas City, Missouri on a scheduled day off. More of an adjacent sports story but thought it was pretty interesting. Here is some pretty grainy footage of them performing live.

Yesterday’s Trivia Time Answer

Which active NFL running back has the most rushing yards and rushing touchdowns?

D. Derrick Henry - Leads all current players in both rushing yards (9,632) and rushing TDs (92). Henry still has a long way to go to catch the leaders in these categories, he sits 36th in current rushing yards (8,700+ yards away from Emmitt Smith), and 11th in career rushing touchdowns (72 behind Smith).

Check back tomorrow for the answer to today's trivia question and more info!